Is it worth the risk?

I've been fighting with myself over buying a new laptop. Not any plain old laptop, but a 2 in 1 convertible that can do cool digital art things. It's tearing me up. More than it should be able to. 

I've listed the pros.

  1. Portability
  2. Doesn't take up much space
  3. Sounds like something cool to learn
  4. Opens up tons of possibilities

I've listed the cons.

  1. Expensive
  2. I might hate it
  3. I might fail at it

Buying a new laptop, of any sort, feels like a luxury. Like I'm ripping food straight from my families mouth to selfishly spoil myself. 

This is both an artist's issue and a woman's issue. There is so much conditioning around the frivolity of being an artist and what is allowed as a woman wrapped up in this. 

I know that it's a lot of bullshit. I'm still getting tangled in it. 

Why am I sharing this with you?

Maybe you've experienced something similar around your creative work or dreams that keep you stuck in place. It might not be about a laptop. It could be any supplies, tools, or anything you need to do to follow your dreams. 

I'm not advocating going out and spending money wildly or that you really can't afford to spend. 

I think it is important to take a deep look at why or why not you are buying/investing in your creative work or dreams. 

Are they valid reasons? What is the worst that could happen? How likely is it?

I know we are going to suddenly starve if I buy a laptop. This will be tight, but not fatal. 

Will it help me sell more art? I have no idea. I suck at selling. It's just a tool, not a miracle.

Is it worth the (real or imagined) risk? That is the question.